Fire Alarm Fun

This is apropo of nothing, but I share it with you anyway. We've had, over the recent span of time, some difficulties with 1105 N. Hollywood Way's highly sophisticated fire alarm system.

It likes to go off morning, noon and night, for no apparent reason. Alarms wail, lights flash, and the local fire department rolls up to the door to put out the fire. Oh. And the business representative (me) gets called down to the building to interact with the firefighters.

Only problem is, there's no fire. Just a balky alarm system.

This has been going on for awhile now, every twenty-four to thirty six hours, and I am starting to get a little ... uhm ... cranky. Here's one example of my crankiness, sent to the alarm company last week:

To [The Fire Alarm Co.]:

I am writing this at the suggestion of [one of your] employees. At 10:25 at night. From an office I wish I wasn't occupying at this moment, because I would much rather be home in bed.

The reason I'm here is we have had endless problems with our nine-month-old alarm system. Over the last few weeks, it has gone off during working hours, at night, and on weekends for no discernible reason. We have had technicians out to repair it, to reboot it, to install new sensors, etc., multiple times. Nothing they have done has improved the situation a jot.

Each time the alarm goes off, I am called and the fire department is called. The firefighters inform us that if the alarms persist, we will be billed for the calls (we are probably getting billed already.) They have now been out half a dozen times. We find this to be an intolerable situation.

The warranty on this system lapsed a few days ago. Our office manager informed the company that we were not disposed to pay for a malfunctioning system that has caused us nothing but grief over the past month, and seems no closer to being fixed than it did when the problems first started. The bill we received from your company for $600 was withdrawn after our complaints; we anticipate that other charges will be withdrawn as well, and the system repaired so that it stops going off at all hours.

Based on the results we've observed to date, the system and attempted repairs are failures, and I'm sorry that we didn't go with another system because this one has caused nothing but headaches.

Yours,

Steve Hulett

Business Representative -- The Animation Guild

That e-mail was from last week. And this one was from ... last night.

[Mr. Baker], old top, old buddy.

This is Steve Hulett. Again.

In case you can't place the name, I'm the guy who (apparently) spends all his time running to the Animation Guild Building at 1105 N. Hollywood Way, Burbank, CA. I run because your alarm system keeps going off for no apparent reason. It went off again tonight, at 8:10 p.m. I was away from a phone at the time, so we only narrowly averted the fire department smashing in a window to get inside. Happily, the BFD got hold of one of the staff, so our panes of glass remain intact.

But I've pretty much had it. I think now, we need to discuss our next step. I'm going to propose to the Animation Guild's executive board that we remove your non-functioning system and your company give us a refund, and we all go our separate ways. We can hire a night watchman to watch the place, and we'll get away from the wonders of modern technology, and I will avoid having to kill myself.

Thanks for your time. It's a wonder to me that your company remains in business. But miracles sometimes happen.

Steven Hulett

Happy Father's Day.